


This is a huge mess

by tsumugiaoba



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, M/M, Texting, This Is STUPID, help them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-07-22 19:37:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7451473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumugiaoba/pseuds/tsumugiaoba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, the mom's of each team. In a group chat.<br/>So enter Iwa-chan, Suga-chan, Yaku-chan and Aka-chan, with my shitty humour, in this work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> help i can only write shitty cracks and also the bokuroo will be insinuated ok

_Sugamama, Yakult, Iwaizoomi and AkASShi have been added to the group chat "hELP"_

 

Sugamama: ok who made this who needs help

Yakult: not me

Iwaizoomi: not me

Sugamama: then who made it 

AkASShi: HELP!!!!!

Iwaizoomi: this person apparently 

Yakult: Akaashi??

AkASShi:NO!!! THIS IS BOKUTO!!!! I THINK I BROKE AKAASHI 

Sugamama: i knew that would happen someday.

Yakult: fuck, what again

Iwaizoomi: is that actually a constant thing 

Sugamama: about as constant as you hitting oikawa 

Iwaizoomi: mother of god that's a lot

AkASShi: everything is fine

Sugamama: akaashi is that you??

Yakult: idk can Bokuto even type without any exclamation marks or capital letters? 

AkASShi: from personal experience i can confirm that no he can't

Iwaizoomi: why do you people even have my number?? i don't know any of you except Sugamama which I think is the other Karasuno setter

Sugamama: Tooru 

AkASShi: Oikawa-san 

AkASShi: also known as your personal trash can

Iwaizoomi: DOES HE REALLY HAVE TO GIVE MY NUMBER TO EVERYONE 

Sugamama: me and akaashi asked for it at the pss reunion in case oikawa did something stupid 

AkASShi: Kageyama told us you're the only person who can make him shut up

Yakult: look i don't know who Iwaizoomi is or what the pss is but FUN FACT i didn't have Iwaizoomi's number 

Iwaizoomi: not wrong and I'm Iwaizumi Hajime, Aoba Johsai's ace

Yakult: oh what a nice title tHAT I CAN EASILY SMASH TO THE GROUND AND RIDICULE BECAUSE IM MORISUKE YAKU, A LIBERO. MY JOB IS LITERALLY TO FUCK UP ALL YOUR AND OTHER ACES' ATTEMPTS HA

Sugamama: Asahi was terrified 

Sugamama: then again that's not hard I mean he screams in terror at a popping balloon

AkASShi: and the pss is the Pretty Setter Squad, also known as the setter support group where we cry about how much of a pain our spikers are. 

Sugamama: Akaashi friendly reminder that only you have Bokuto we don't. 

AkASShi: you have Asahi to deal with though. And French Fry McSalty

Sugamama: *desperate crowing for help* 

Yakult: i know the feeling with kuroo and lev 

Yakult: the worse thing is that Kenma COULD help but he doesn't that kitty fuck

Iwaizoomi: ok then i have no help just bunches of trouble known as tooru, issei and takahiro


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who updated!! this person!!

Sugamama: *but don't you love Tooru-chan crowing*

Yakult: I'd stop if I was them. Then again I'd also get a functional brain if I was Lev, but that's not happening soon.

Iwaizoomi: I maybe am dating Oikawa but the other two are still huge offenders with nothing in their defense.

AkASShi: Iwaizumi-san

AkASShi: Tell Oikawa to hide or prepare himself 

Iwaizoomi: why??

Yakult: oh no.

Yakult: Kuroo just texted me. It's what your talking about, right?

AkASShi: I am afraid so.

Sugamama: what's going on?? it's not the apocalypse I hope 

Yakult: pretty close to that for Oikawa tbh

Iwaizoomi: What's going to happen to him??

AkASShi: Bokuto and Kuroo have planned to go and pester Oikawa by following him around and saying "You should've come to Shiratorizawa" in a very monotone Wakatoshi tone

Yakult: that's what those two morons call a date god.

Yakult: and if my contact name doesn't change in his phone soon I'm seriously going to show him how many punches this "yakusoba" can deliver 

Sugamama: Daichi is way worse.

Sugamama: he can't type for shit, apparently vowels are too much of a fucking pain to use, and he can't even type my name.

Sugamama: he calls me soda on text 

AkASShi: as you saw, Bokuto cannot type without using full caps lock all the time and it's going to drive me crazy 

AkASShi: also what is my name already 

Yakult: it is Akaashi Keiji. phonetically: Ah-kah-shee Keh-jee. 

AkASShi: thank you. i wasn't sure if my name was that or AGGHHAASHIII.

Iwaizoomi: suddenly I'm thankful that all I get is Iwa-chan and literate texting.

Sugamama: you should be 

Iwaizoomi: also about Kuroo and Bokuto: whatever but keep it at a level where Oikawa's still sane please

Yakult: gotcha. I'll inform Kuroo.

Sugamama: ok this is totally another subject but God do I sometimes get so done with the first years

Sugamama: they're great and all but they're either dumb or too smart for their own good and I CAN LITERALLY SLICE THROUGH THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN PAIRS OF THEM IM CRYING WHY ARE THEY ALL SO OBLIVIOUS OF THEIR OWN FEELINGS

AkASShi: Fukurodani honestly only has Bokuto as a main trouble 

AkASShi: with a side of Konoha but that's minor. Bokuto is honestly worse than thousands of first years

Yakult: at least he got together with his bro- now boyfriend lmao

Yakult: as suga said Karasuno's first years are like blind

Iwaizoomi: I honestly wish Mattsun and Makki were that blind because they were already bad as a best friend meme team but boyfriend meme team meant extra displays of PDA in the sole reason of aggravating me and Oikawa mainly.

Sugamama: god. maybe i don't want them to get a pair of pure love lens glasses to realise how much they're gay for eachother.

Sugamama: oh well i guess the "talk shit get hit" policy will apply to more people than Daichi and Asahi if needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put in a Love Live! song title (translated) in here: kudos if you found it lmao I honestly have a love-hate relationship with that song
> 
> Also, I didn't precise the pairings for the Karasuno first years because honestly, we all have different ship sets and as a multishipper I couldn't choose. Feel free to interpret it your way!
> 
> Finally, rip oikawa tooru (cause of death: bokuroo)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for all the wait I had the chapter in my notes I just forgot to post it

\---- Today , at 14:08 ----

Yakult: we've officially lost kenma 

Sugamama: In what sense

Yakult: Pokemon GO

Yakult: he basically left practice for an Eevee saying that it was the last one he needed to catch to be able to evolve his Eevee

Iwaizoomi: we don't even train anymore it's only pokemon go thanks to mattsun and mattsun 

Iwaizoomi: everyone here is on team instinct except Oikawa who chose mystic because "it's more graceful"

Iwaizoomi: but the rest of the team basically attacked him and now there's a set rule that all mystic gyms HAVE to go

Sugamama: oh so that's why hinata was screaming "STUPID YELLOW INSTINCT" repeatedly 

Sugamama: yes the whole team is playing they even dragged me in

Sugamama: the team is a general wreck because you have me, Hinata and Kageyama in Valor, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Ennoshita in Mystic then Noya, Tanaka and Asahi in Instinct 

Yakult: what about Daichi?? isn't he playing???

Sugamama: he hasn't figured out how to use the app

Iwaizoomi: ok news flash kyoutani just fucking THREW and broke his phone in rage because that Abra kept getting out of his pokeballs and then fled once he'd used up all his pokeballs

Iwaizoomi: oh now he's sulking because Yahaba caught an Abra

Sugamama: but guys where is Akaashi

Yakult: i don't know 

Iwaizoomi: me neither 

Yakult: wait i think i see kenma over there

Yakult: i remove what i said earlier, akaashi is right there with kenma, bokuto and kuroo 

Yakult: he's being the eyes of the group the rest are glued to their phones and are like headless chicken 

Sugamama: Daichi just literally threw his phone when Noya told him to "throw it" to catch the Pokemon

Sugamama: has he never heard of a pokeball ffs 

Yakult: Bokuto and Kuroo are dabbing every two seconds and Kenma is actually wearing the actual attire of his Pokemon go avatar 

AkASShi: Kenma almost got hit by a car because he wasn't looking where he was going in real life 

AkASShi: he just went straight into a lamppost 

Sugamama: go help him you nut

AkASShi: farewell and good luck to y'all I have 3 headless chickens to manage

Sugamama: but on the other hand iwaizumi are you aware that oikawa is here

Iwaizoomi: wait what

Sugamama: he's currently shouting that he came to "challenge his cute kouhai personally"

Sugamama: should I tell him that pokemon go isn't like Pokemon games where you can battle a specific trainer regardless of team

Iwaizoomi: let him figure it out. 

Yakult: why is lev like this

Yakult: he just asked if he could pet a pokemon to Kenma and Kenma just pointed to thin air and he is currently petting thin air with marvelled eyes

Sugamama: is it just me or shouldn't we be trying to stop these events from happening instead of texting 

Iwaizoomi: not wrong

Iwaizoomi: but i swear that if Matsukawa and Hanamaki write my name as "iwazumi" I'm punching them. 

Yakult: yeah the missing "i" does hurt my eyes

Sugamama: OOH that rhymed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but am i the only one who hates it when a fic writes Iwaizumi as Iwazumi

**Author's Note:**

> im just updating as i get inspiration 
> 
> also someone help them all


End file.
